Leaders in Process

I wish I could tell you I’ve arrived. That I’m now fully Christlike, patient in every trial, humble in every success, always overflowing with love. But the truth is…I’m still on the journey.

And if you’re honest, so are you.

Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:22-24 ring in my ears:

“Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires… be renewed in the Holy Spirit of your minds… and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

And then there’s Romans 12:2:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

That word mind, nous in the Greek, isn’t just about intellect. It’s the whole inner landscape: your thoughts, perceptions, moral reasoning, and even the way you interpret reality. To renew it is to let the Holy Spirit rewire the very operating system you live from. It’s not about adding a bit more “Bible knowledge.” It’s a deep renovation of how you think, feel, and choose.

And that renewal? It’s not a one-and-done. It’s a lifetime of partnership with the Holy Spirit.

The Illusion of Leadership Strength

One of the biggest lies leaders swallow is: “I can’t let anyone see my weakness.” We think that once we step into leadership, we must always project confidence, composure, and perfection.

It’s the oldest trap: Adam and Eve hiding in the garden, covering themselves, avoiding the gaze of God. Only now, instead of fig leaves, we hide behind our titles, our sermons, our busyness.

But the truth? Leadership doesn’t erase your struggles. It magnifies them.

The pressures of visibility and responsibility don’t make your insecurities disappear; they put them on loudspeaker. And if you haven’t given the Holy Spirit access to those places, they will inevitably leak out.

My Story: The Angry Leader

I’ve walked this road.

Years ago, I found myself in a leadership role where the weight of expectation pressed hard. On the outside, I looked composed. On the inside, I was more concerned about the opinions of people than the voice of God.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but that insecurity was shaping my leadership. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: when you lead from insecurity, it doesn’t come out looking “weak”; it often comes out looking strong in all the wrong ways.

For me, it surfaced as anger.

I became an angry leader, quick to react, easily frustrated, and overly controlling. My team began to feel it. Conversations were shorter. Trust was thinner. They kept their distance.

Then came the moment. The Holy Spirit spoke, not with condemnation, but with piercing clarity:

“You’re leading out of fear, not from belonging.”

That line went straight through me. It was true. I was leading from a place of needing approval, from anxiety over how I was perceived.

And so, I did the thing leaders are often most afraid to do: I gathered my team and repented. I admitted my anger. I told them I’d been leading out of control, not Christlikeness.

Do you know what happened? They didn’t lose respect for me. They leaned in. Trust deepened. The culture shifted.

That day I learned something I’ve carried ever since: humility and repentance don’t weaken a leader; they strengthen leadership.

Why This Matters for Every Leader

We can preach freedom all we want, but if we’re not walking it ourselves, it will show.

Our unresolved places, whether it’s the need to be needed, the need to be right, or the fear of being insignificant, will eventually shape our leadership. And those patterns will replicate in our people.

King Saul’s story is the clearest warning in Scripture. Insecure. Afraid of people’s opinions. Unable to obey God fully. It cost him the kingdom. 

Here’s the sobering reality: we don’t just multiply what we teach, we multiply who we are.

If we lead from self-protection, fear, or control, we’ll create teams that mirror it. If we lead from humility, transparency, and love, we’ll create teams that flourish in it.

Transformation Is a Partnership

This is why we can’t afford to see transformation as “optional.” The Holy Spirit is ready to walk this journey with us, but He won’t bulldoze His way in.

When you give Him permission, He starts to reveal the unseen drivers in your heart:

“See that reaction? Let’s talk about it.”
“See that fear? I want to replace it with trust.”

Sometimes He uses Scripture. Sometimes He uses the voice of a friend. And often, maybe more often than we like, He uses people and situations that irritate us.

Yes, those “button-pushers” in your life might actually be gifts from God. Without them, you might never see the blind spots that need His touch.

The process isn’t comfortable. But on the other side? Peace. Freedom. A new capacity to lead with clarity and kindness.

And there’s another bonus: you stop burning all your emotional energy managing your insecurities. That energy gets redirected into manifesting the Kingdom.

The Culture We Carry

Imagine a church where confession isn’t shameful but celebrated. Where the call to repentance at the altar doesn’t clear the room, it fills it. Where leaders and the people alike run forward, not to save face, but to be set free.

That culture doesn’t start in the pews; it starts in the pulpit.

If we as leaders are honest about our own ongoing transformation, we create space for others to step into theirs. But if we resist the Holy Spirit’s work in our own lives, we silently tell our people that growth is for “them,” not for “us.”

In many churches, the fear of what others will think keeps people frozen. No one moves forward because they don’t want to be seen as “the one with issues.” But here’s the truth: we all have issues. The only difference is whether we’re willing to bring them into the light.

And the light is where freedom lives.

Looking Inward

Sometimes, as leaders, we need to do a hard review:

• Are the people we lead growing in maturity?

• Are they being empowered to step into their own calling?

• Are they gaining confidence to lead, or are they dependent on us?

If they’re not maturing, the problem might not be “out there.” It might be in us.

The need to be needed is subtle, but it will keep people dependent instead of releasing them. Insecurity will drive us to gather people around us for our sake rather than for theirs.

The only way to break that cycle is to let the Holy Spirit transform the deep motives of our hearts.

A Better Way

When leaders live open to the Holy Spirit’s transforming work, here’s what happens:

• Teams become safer because vulnerability is normal.

• Conflict becomes less toxic because humility is modelled.

• Growth accelerates because fear of failure loses its grip.

I’ve watched this in my leadership. The more I’ve allowed God to address my insecurities, the more relaxed, and yet more effective, I’ve become. I’m kinder. More peaceful. And my team is healthier because of it.

It’s not that the challenges go away. But when the heart is settled in God’s love, the challenges stop shaking you in the same way.

The Call to Leaders Today

If we truly long for revival that transforms nations, we can’t skip the step where God transforms us.

We must keep putting off the old self. Keep putting on the new. Keep letting the Holy Spirit renew our nous, our whole inner framework.

That will mean facing uncomfortable truths. It will mean repenting when He points out control, fear, or pride. It will mean letting go of the need to be admired, needed, or first.

But it’s worth it.

Because whole leaders raise whole people, and whole people can change the world.

So here’s my challenge to you, leader to leader:

Don’t hide behind your position. Don’t settle for managing your weaknesses in the dark. Let the Holy Spirit shine His light into every corner.

Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it’s humbling. But it’s also freeing.

And freedom isn’t just for your sake, it’s for the sake of every person God has entrusted to your leadership.